Love.

I wouldn't want to change the past. Every step we took, every choice we made led to this. Us. Family.

Blessed.

Yes, you!

Get.over.it.

My maternity leave is almost over. It's amazing how I've spent almost two months just staying at home and taking care of my baby. No househelp, no yaya. Just me and Aria everyday. There were days during her first few weeks when she'd be impossible, crying all the time, and with me being a first-time mom I'd end up sobbing in frustration and exhaustion. But as the weeks passed, I learned to understand Aria's needs, when to do this and that. I'd like to think I quite understand her cries now. It's getting a bit easier as she continues to grow. There are still tough days, but I'm learning how to handle them.

Being with Aria 24/7 is sometimes a challenge. But most of the time, it's a pleasure and an honor. My little angel is so beautiful and perfect and precious. I look at her and feel a sense of pride all the time. I'm her mother. She belongs to me. And it's such a big blessing, a huge honor.

My leave is almost up. I'm glad though that I have a job that doesn't take too much of my time. I'll be experiencing what other moms have told me when I was still pregnant with Aria: I'll always be excited to go home and be with the little one.

I still have a week left. And I plan to enjoy every second of it, with my arms wrapped lovingly around my daughter.

Happy Mother's Day!

My very first! Can you believe it? It's amazing how all of a sudden your whole life changes and you're a mother and a living being, your own flesh and blood, is depending on you for its own existence. I am now part of this wonderful and very exclusive world of motherhood. And it's great! Exhausting at times, but it's all worth it.

Tomorrow, May 14, my little Aria celebrates her 1st month. I can't believe it has been a month since I labored for 19hours and painfully gave birth to this beautiful 7.10-pound baby girl. Right now, as I write this, she's in her crib, just near our bed, sleeping soundly. I glance at her from time to time to make sure she's comfortable. And my heart melts everytime I look at her. My own child, my dearest daughter. My greatest blessing.

I know now how it feels. I have yet to learn more about motherhood, I know. But in the past 4 weeks, I have experienced enough to understand well what mothers go through during their baby's first months, all the joys and sacrifices, all the sleepless nights and emotional moments. Motherhood is no bed of roses, but I look at my baby and I know that I can and I will bravely face every challenge. All for Aria. Such a great honor to be her mother.

Happy Mother's Day! Cheers to us moms! We rock!

:)

Baby makes three!

For the past twelve years, it was just me and him. Then we tied the knot, made magic happen, and a song of love was born!

Now it's Dad, Mum and Aria. Family is LOVE! And love is truly all around.

:)

Meet Aria!

April 14, 2012 at 11:59 PM, I gave birth to a beautiful baby girl. Aria Asis-Carilo. Oh, what a big baby she was! 7 lbs and 10 oz. and 50 cm long. I had a difficult normal delivery, but it was all worth it.

More details soon. Right now, let me just share with you the joy and love that our new family is feeling. My husband and I are so blessed. Little Aria is our song of love.

:)

No visitors!

38 weeks and 4 days. I can see the big day happening really soon. Aria's coming out into this beautiful world, and my husband and I can't wait to hold her in our arms and give her real kisses, not just the ones that land on my tummy.

I'll be giving birth at The Medical City. I chose this hospital because (1) my OB is there, (2) it's a very clean hospital and (3) there's Starbucks on the ground floor. I don't have to worry about icky smells or dirty hallways or scary-looking rooms.

Speaking of rooms, Hubby and I will be getting one that's large enough only for me, him, Aria, immediate family and almost no extra space for visitors. I've only invited my closest, closest friends to visit, and that's just five people. A lot of our other friends have been asking if they can visit. If we gave you this reply, "Sige let's see. We'll let you know..." then that means we would appreciate it if you skip the hospital visit and just wait for Aria's welcoming party. I don't mean to sound rude, but I know that after the delivery I will be in my most uncomfortable, ugliest and most delicate state. I won't have the strength to graciously welcome visitors. And since Aria will be roomed-in with us, it wouldn't be a good idea to have a lot of people crowding around.

So there. No visitors, unless invited. And kindly knock before entering. This first-time mom has been excited for the past nine months, but I'm not going crazy about delivery and after-delivery. That's something I choose not to share to the public. I hope you all understand.

Wish me luck!

Helpless.

This is how I'm feeling right now. And I'm hating it!

My OB advised me not to drive anymore. Pregnancy and driving don't really have contraindications, but because I can give birth anytime soon, it would be better (according to her and everyone else in my family) to have someone drive for me, and be with me at all times, just in case I suddenly go into labor or if my water bag ruptures.

So here I am, with no means of going where I wanna go, doing what I wanna do, without bothering someone else. For a woman who's used to being independent all her life, this situation is very frustrating!

Plus the fact that I'm feeling exhausted all the time, what with carrying almost 6pounds of extra weight in my tummy every minute of the day. People are now doing things for me - chores, carrying my stuff, running errands for me. If I were a spoiled brat, I'd be enjoying this. But I'm not. This independent chick is not liking this helplessness one bit.

I shouldn't complain. Life is being really wonderful to me. I just want my strength back. I miss it badly.

DND!

It's Maundy Thursday here in Manila. Holy week. A long weekend, too, since Monday is also a holiday.

And since my hubby doesn't always get this chance to be work-free for a week, we decided to have a staycation at Midas Hotel. I got me a gift certificate, so our stay is for free. Awesome, ain't it? ;)

No work, no stress, no responsibilities. Hakuna matata! And we are loving it!

:)

Dearest Aria...

What an awesome nine months we both had! Now, love, we're nearing the finish line. Mommy and Daddy are going to meet you anytime now. And we are so happy and eager to welcome you to the world!

It's a beautiful world out here, my dear daughter. It can be stressful and chaotic and there are some people that you can never trust, but this place is full of sunshine and glorious rain! You'll be surrounded by family and friends who have loved you even before you were born. You'll be amazed at everything - the sun, the skies, the wind that will blow through your hair, the sound of dogs barking (they're our pets - Princess and Lily Potter), the feel of water when we give you a bath, even the softness of your pillows will make you wonder. Everything will be new and amazing for you out here, and Mommy and Daddy will be watching you every step of the way.

I know it's time to let go now. A part of me is excited to finally see you and hold you in my arms. But there's also a big part of me that wants to hold on to you still. For the past nine months, it has been just you and me. You were a big part of me. I felt you move, kick, swim, even have hiccups! I felt every movement, even the tiny ones that you thought you could hide from me. For the past nine months, you were my constant companion everywhere I went. You were my radio partner, my workout buddy, my silent date in restaurants, my travel companion, the one who listened to my whispers and grumbles and sighs. I sang to you all the time and sometimes you would sway or dance along with the music. Whenever I was feeling anxious or excited or happy or sad, I would touch you and sometimes you would give me a reassuring kick to let me know that I'm not alone. All those moments with you, my darling, were so beautiful and romantic! I look for words to describe exactly how those whole nine months felt, but the words fail to measure up to how wonderful it has been. Wonderful is an understatement. I know Mommy has to let you go now, any day you feel like leaving my tummy to enter the world. I'm going to miss you, little one. I know you understand exactly how Mommy feels. Before you're born, Aria, I want to thank you for spending nine months with me. It has been the best journey of my life so far. Thank you for every beautiful moment. We had so much fun together, right? I will never forget that.

You and I worked hand-in-hand to make Mommy's pregnancy smooth-sailing and terrific! I'd go through another nine months with you if that was possible. What a fantastic adventure we had, love! Are you ready for a new one? I bet you are!

Anytime now, dear Aria. Soon as that little gate opens and you feel like slipping out, Daddy and I will be here to welcome you with all the love and adoration we can ever muster. We're just here waiting for you.

Your name - Aria - means music. And you, my little one, are Daddy and Mommy's song of love. We love you! See you soon.

Love,

Mommy