Thursday, April 1, 2010

Hells wedding bells!

Filipinos are known for having extravagant weddings. Huge ceremonies held in cathedrals, with hotel ballroom receptions housing a multitude of guests. Immediate family members, relatives, distant relatives, friends, acquaintances, neighbors, government officials, strangers. True, occasions like these seem festive, happy, colorful. Personally, though, I also think it too loud, and the intimacy that a wedding ceremony should have gets lost in the crazy, busy fanfare. The wedding ceremony becomes a carnival instead of a celebration of love.

I remember my good friend Jada telling me, "A wedding ceremony is really just something you do for your family and not for yourself." If this is always the case, then I would rather become one of those couples who never get married but live together, have kids and have wonderful relationships. What is getting married for anyway? Why do we do it for other people when the sole reason for this union is because two individuals love each other and want to spend their lives together 'til death do them part?

Frankly, it doesn't make any sense to me. I've attended big, big weddings, with hundreds of guests who barely know each other and, in some unfortunate cases, barely know the bride and groom as well. Where is the intimacy in that? Why invite guests who don't truly care for you, and some don't even know you?

That's the reason why the dream wedding I have envisioned in my head is very small, very intimate and only involves my beau and myself, our immediate families, and the very select and few relatives and friends who sincerely care for us. Why do I have to invite a distant relative who can't even remember my full name, or has totally forgotten my existence in the family tree? It's not being selfish. It's being real. I want my wedding to be intimate. And intimacy only exists among people who genuinely love and care for one another. No hypocrisy. I want my wedding to be true in every sense. True to the word love. True to the word care. True to the word family. True to the word togetherness. I want my wedding to be a celebration of love, not a show staged merely to entertain a cold audience.

Two people decide to get married because, somewhere in the chaos of this mad world, they've found true love and can no longer imagine themselves living a single day apart. Isn't it absolutely sensible to celebrate this romantic union, this magical occurrence, with people closest to their hearts, people who have been witnesses to their love story, people who would shed sincere tears of joy while watching them exchange vows and kiss?

Some would probably say I'm selfish and crazy. Some would think I'm a hopeless romantic. I'd like to think I'm being real. If you can bear with the thought of inviting someone who doesn't care about you to such a momentous event in your life, then by all means go ahead. Whatever floats your boat. But I want my boat to carry only those who truly, truly love me.

1 comment:

Martine said...

Hey, Anne. I totally agree with you. Our own wedding was an intimate affair, and God knows how much we battled with the status quo about what we wanted. In the end, we got our intimate wedding, held in our huge garden in my parents' home. Very "Father of the Bride" really. You can see some snippets of the wedding at :)

I hope your own special day is just the way you want it.