Friday, April 29, 2005

Musings on Marriage

I have been thinking about marriage lately. Not that I have plans of tying the knot in the near future. Just musings during one of ‘em days. I have a few friends who tell me not to get hitched, not until I’m in my mid or even late thirties. Famous lines…

Enjoy being single.
It’s better without a husband.
Just get pregnant, and stay single.
You’ll be sorry, I’m telling you.

Why such a negative outlook, I wonder.

I think of my own parents. My dad calls my mom “sweetheart.” My mom calls him “honey.” They still hold hands when we go to the mall. They still cuddle, and run around the kitchen like little kids. They still act the way young couples in-love do, sans the PDA OD.

I think of my besty and her husband Edward. They seem to have a very happy marriage. They’re celebrating their first anniversary in August. They don’t have major, I’m-moving-out fights. They don’t have secret affairs. They’re happy. And they’re certainly not complaining.

I remember my grandpa. When my grandma was still alive, he worshipped her, even at the age of 60+, with wrinkles all over and white hair she tried to cover with dye. He would always tell us that grandma was the most beautiful girl in their school. When she passed away a couple of years ago, he was devastated.

So is it really better without a husband? Some single, liberated women may say YES. Some unhappy wives would probably nod their heads. Some of my friends, who married on the rebound, would agree a hundred percent.

I look at my beau, and the years we’ve spent together, and recall the happy moments as well as the sad ones, times when we fought, and almost gave up. I wouldn’t mind spending forever with him. In fact, that would be wonderful. Never mind the fighting, and the misunderstandings. Here’s someone who loves me for me, even after seeing my bad side – I turn into a really mean Incredible Hulk when I’m angry, and I don’t like fixing my stuff so he fixes them for me – and still he loves me. Would I rather NOT be married to him someday? I don’t think so.

Being single, a woman of the world – it’s great, it’s liberating. But when you’re feelling down and out, wouldn’t it be wonderful to have someone to dry your tears and hold you close? When it’s cold at night, wouldn’t it be better to have someone put the blanket around you and watch you while you sleep? What do you think?

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