Thoughts on the Sandy Hook tragedy.

I woke up yesterday morning to news about the shooting at Sandy Hook Elementary School in Newtown, Connecticut. Twitter was flooded with updates, and I was sobbing my heart out as I read each report. 26 dead, and majority of the victims were children. The list of victims was released today, and my heart broke once again when I saw that all the twenty kids who were killed were aged six and seven. The gun that took the life of these tiny, defenseless children was same as the weapons used by troops in Afghanistan. And according to reports from the coroner, the victims were shot more than once. Just trying to picture a small, fragile body of a six-year-old with multiple bullet wounds makes me cry in horror. Why? What could have triggered the gunman to do such a terrible, unfathomable act of evil?

My heart is broken and bleeding and the tears won't stop. I am grieving, even if these people are all strangers to me. I'm a mother, too. And once you have children of your own, when you hear about very young kids being killed, you feel a kind of pain that only parents can understand. They say when a parent loses a child, there is no greater pain. I can only imagine the devastation that the mothers and fathers of the young victims are feeling right now.

God help them.

Right now, prayers are being whispered for them all over the globe. The world is united in prayer, and sadness. The only thing to do, the best thing to do, is pray. For the souls of the victims, for the families they left behind. I am one of those in constant prayer. Lord, please have mercy and give them strength.

**********

According to reports I've read online, the three weapons used by the gunman belonged to his mother, who was his first victim. All legally purchased by the mother. The question that boggles me is this: Why does the mother own so many guns? I don't get it. They were living in a supposedly lovely and peaceful part of the state, so why the need to have deadly weapons?

I've been terrified of guns all my life. When I was a kid, I witnessed a shooting right in front of our house. Our neighbors were fighting, and two men took out their guns and started shooting at each other. I was so scared and until now I still carry that fear.

Gun manufacturers say these weapons are for self-defense. But that is no longer the case. The Sandy Hook gunman was said to have a personality disorder. This unstable person had easy access to deadly weapons legally owned by his mother. Yesterday, these "weapons for self-defense" took the lives of twenty very young children.

It's insane. And really frightening, this world we live in. A world that gives crazy mad men easy access to deadly weapons.

**********

I have an 8month-old daughter, and when I read about yesterday's tragedy, I couldn't help but think of this: Paano kung nangyari kay Aria yun?

It made me realize that life is indeed so short. And death really does come like a thief in the night.

So every day, every waking moment, love your children. Love your family. Hug them. Hold them. Tell them you love them. Don't waste an opportunity to say, "I love you."

And pray. For protection. There just isn't a safe place in this world anymore.

**********

Twenty children.
Six adults.

Rest in peace.

Ngalay ng Nanay

We have been lying in bed like this for two and a half hours already. She would stir every now and then to move her head a little, or move her arm. But she refuses to budge from where she's sleeping so soundly. Twice I tried to put her down on the bed beside me. She cried. She wants to sleep like this. This close to me.

So imagine not moving from this position for two and a half hours. This is what I'd like to call "mother's ngalay." I really don't mind if my butt and my back are killing me. I could stay in this position forever, holding my baby girl so very close to my heart, literally. If you could see her right now. Aria looks so happy and content, snoring a bit, too. I can't describe this wonderful feeling every time we're this close, whenever she's asleep in my arms, whenever she wants to be pressed close to me, letting my heartbeat lull her to sleep. Wonderful is an understatement.

Hindi pa rin talaga siya nagalaw. It's okay, love. You can spend the night in mommy's arms. I'm all yours.

Slow down, Father Time!

Seriously. Time seems to be running extra fast lately. Here comes September, the first of the "ber" months, and next thing you know, it's time to light 'em Christmas trees. Ang bilis ng panahon!

My little Aria turned 5 months today. 5 months! Can you believe that? Didn't I just give birth yesterday? So it's been 5 months? Kidding aside, I'm really amazed at how fast she grows. Last we checked, my daughter is 20.7 pounds and 73 cm. long. That was last week. Her pedia says her weight and height is for a 1-year old kid already. So that's why many of her clothes don't fit her anymore. Ang bilis ng panahon!

Newborn Aria. At The Medical City. Two days after birth.

I can still remember that particular Saturday in April. The 19 hours I spent in the labor room of The Medical City. The very painful delivery. Aria's first cries. My husband, Alvin, standing close to me, then holding our baby girl afterwards. I remember trying to smile for the camera, but I couldn't because I was so exhausted. I remember looking at Aria, touching her for the very first time, watching her nurse and squirm on my chest. Heck, I even remember waking up in the recovery room and asking the nurse for a glass of water. She filled a plastic cup with tap and I wondered if it was safe to drink. Everything is so clear and vivid in my head. It feels like it all happened five days ago and not five months.

Little Aria at 2 months. So tiny in her Daddy's hands.

Aria at 3 months.

Now my baby girl is no longer the tiny, delicate ball that my husband can carry in his palms. She's now this adorable tot who's always smiling and laughing, always moving her arms and legs. I always check the baby milestones chart to monitor her progress and Aria's quite advanced at 5 months. She looks at you when you say her name, she "talks" back, she taps her hands at objects, reaches for things and puts them in her mouth. She can't roll over yet because probably she's too heavy. But to make up for it, she sits up! She sits and plays with her feet. So cute! 

And when she's crying, she looks for me, or that's how Alvin and I interpret it. Because she cries out, "mum! mum!" And when I finally carry her in my arms, she stops crying. That is the best feeling ever. If you're a mom and you're reading this, then you know how that feels. Sarap, diba?

Aria at 4 months.

Pretty soon, she's going to learn how to walk, say more words, eat solid food, and reach other huge milestones that will both amaze and shock me. She's growing up. Too fast, if you ask me. She'll be more fun to be with once she's older, I know. But a big part of me really wants Father Time to stop so she'll stay a baby and she'll always want to be wrapped in my arms. 

Sigh.

I guess the best thing to do is to cherish every moment, savor every single day while she's still like this - a baby who's depending on me for dear life. Enjoy her company while she still enjoys mine. I intend to do just that. For the rest of my life, if possible. 

Happy 5th month, Aria! You'll always be my sweet, little baby. No matter how many candles you'll have on your birthday cake. 

Photo taken 3 days ago.

Best gift ever!

It's my husband's birthday today. We just woke up. Aria and I surprised him with our simple presents. Our darling little girl bought her daddy new socks! How thoughtful! Alvin said they were very "daughterly gifts." She doesn't have a clue, of course. But as early as now I want to teach her this birthday tradition I got from my family. Everytime someone had a birthday, we would wait until midnight or wake up early to give our birthday gifts. It always made the day even more special. And happier!

So today we woke up with sunshine, love and presents on Alvin's birthday. God gave him a present, too. The gift of family! Best gift ever.

Happy birthday, sweetheart!

To my husband...

...with all my love, heart and soul.

Dear Alvin...

Happy anniversary! Two years since we exchanged vows. Twelve years of togetherness. Sounds like forever, yet sometimes it feels like everything just happened yesterday. Maybe because loving you never gets old.

We've been through a lot of things. Good things. Bad things. The in-betweens. And I'm happy and thankful because we always make it through together. Whether we're faced with rainbows or hurdles, we face them together, my hand in yours, our steps in sync. I'm really glad that in this rat race of a life, I'm partnered with you. I can't imagine waking up next to someone else, opening my heart to someone else, growing old with someone who isn't you.

Look at us now. Proud parents of a beautiful baby girl who's always so happy. I guess she can sense that her mum and dad love each other very much, and love her to bits, too. That's why she's always full of smiles. Thank you, sweetheart. Life can't get any better than this. Not even if we win the grand lotto. (Although winning the lottery would be nice, too.) I already have so many priceless treasures to be thankful for - you, your love and our sweet little baby chum.

It's 11:46pm as I end this post. A few minutes before your birthday. Here's hoping you'll have a great one, and that all your wishes come true. Except for a big bike. I still won't allow it. :)

I love you. Always and always. God bless you, my darling husband.

Love,
Your Wife.

On motherhood, heroes and zzz...

Still up at 5:30am. I put my daughter back to sleep a few minutes ago, after feeding her and resting her on my chest for about half an hour to wait for her burp and let her stomach settle. Now I'm listening to my husband's snoring, and the slight rustle of Aria's blanket as she moves her legs every now and then. This has been my routine ever since the little one was born. Early morning feedings that start at 3am, sometimes 4. Oh there are those rare days where she'd go on sleeping undisturbed by hunger 'til 6am. But most days she's up early. My sweet baby Aria. Mum's puyat everyday because of you. But it comes with motherhood, along with all the good stuff like the sound of her laughter, her tiny arms around my neck when I carry her, the big smile on her face when she sees me, and the way she says "mum...mum" when she's crying. So I can't really complain about the lack of sleep. All the wonderful things outweigh the stuff I grumble about.

My barre3 teacher, Joie, shared to me once that good sleep only came around when her boys got older, 2 or 3 years after birth if I remember it right. Aria's 4months old. Must load up on my Berocca then, for the next two years or so. The required 7 to 8 hours of sleep is now as unreachable as the star in that old song, or the dream of winning jackpot in the lottery.

Fellow moms with dark under-eye circles, if this was like a job, we deserve a big raise, yeah? Or an extra dose of affection from our babies everyday, more than what they give other people. (case in point, the dad.) We're like superheroes who stay awake to make sure everything is well in the world. I think we're even more super because we go through this without the help of capes and costumes or special gadgets or a super fast vehicle. Or superhuman powers. We just really do it, survive on sleepless nights.

Yesterday's celebration for heroes wasn't just for Jose Rizal or Ninoy Aquino. It was for every mother in the country. And I'm proud to include myself. The moms who barely sleep to make sure their babies do, comfortably, soundly.

The early rays of sunlight are streaming in as I end this post. Ah. There goes my chance for a nap before I take Aria out for some sun. Sarap maging nanay, ano?

Good morning!

A letter for Aria

Dear Aria,

Mommy has a silly question. Do you know that I'm your mother? Lately I've been wondering about this. If you do know who I am, how'd you find out? People tell me that you already know who I am even before you were born because you came from me, you lived inside me. But I don't want to hear it from others. I wanna hear it from you, which is really quite impossible because you can't talk yet.

So do you actually know that I'm your mommy? Do you recognize my voice? My smell? My touch? I read in books that babies prefer the smell of their mothers. Is that true, my darling? Do you prefer me over anyone else? Oh, that would make Mommy so happy. That's exactly what I want, you know. I wanna be your #1.

I've imagined how it's gonna be as you get older. You'll reach a phase when you'll be afraid of strangers, and you'll always look at me to see if it's safe to interact with these new faces. And you'll run to my arms when you get scared, when you're hurt, or even when you're happy and want to be hugged. You'll depend on me for love, comfort, security and warmth. You have no idea how Mommy loves that. I want you to depend on me for almost everything all your life. (Although I think when you reach your teens, that wouldn't be a good idea. We'll cross that bridge when we get there.)

I can't wait 'til you learn how to talk so you can finally tell me that you love me. That'll make me cry for sure, the first time you say, "I love you, Mommy!" Because you have no idea how much I love you. Even I can't describe the enormity, the greatness of my love for you. I never thought this was possible, to love someone more than anything else in the universe, even more than myself. Maybe it's because you came from me, you're a part of my body, you lived inside mommy's tummy for nine months. It's inexplicable. I hope you can feel it. I hope you can sense Mommy's love. When you're old enough to talk and understand, let's always say, "I love you!" I'll never get tired of hearing it.

Today, you're celebrating your 4th month. Hurray! My emotions are mixed. Half of my heart says, "4 months na?!? So fast!" And the other half says, "4 months pa lang?!?" Eh kasi you're so big! :) You almost look like a 1-yr old, my Baby Chum. But seriously, don't grow up too fast, love. I still want to hold you in my arms tightly, smother you with kisses, smell your breath, smell your butt after you poop, kiss your feet, sniff your hands that sometimes smell like feet, give you a bath, play with you and take endless pictures of you. All those things. I wanna do all those things forever! Well, maybe not forever. 'Til you're 30.

I love you, Aria. Mommy and Daddy are always here by your side, watching you grow, and feeling happy and proud. Remember the song I used to sing to you all the time when you were still in my tummy? "How wonderful life is now you're in the world." That's true. You have made life even more beautiful just by being here.

Love,
Mommy

Parenthood. It doesn't really come with a handbook or an instruction manual. You just learn from each and every experience. You are your own teacher. Sometimes you make mistakes, sometimes you fail. But each blunder makes you wiser and stronger. Each wrong move teaches you to do right next time, to do better. Every moment has taught me this. I fail many, many times in my struggle to become the most perfect mother. I lose my patience, get frustrated, get angry. But I get up again and try, hoping that in time I'll be mastering motherhood. I'll have to learn to forgive myself many times over, find strength in my daughter, and work on being the best parent for her. It's a lifetime job, but I'm up for it!

Back to Barre3!

After a four-month break, I am finally going back to doing my favorite form of exercise - Barre3! And ooooh, I am giddy with excitement!

Barre3 Philippines just recently opened a new studio at The Spa in Trinoma. This is great news for QC girls like me. Trinoma is very near where I live, so it's more convenient for me to attend classes there than in Eastwood. Oh but I love the studio in Eastwood! After going for a year, it has become one of my happy places. That's where I posed for the camera for the Barre3 article in the Inquirer a couple of months back. And that's where I worked out with Aria growing in my belly. I remember posting on the Barre3 tree: I will become a terrific new mom!

Now it's time to check out the new studio in Trinoma, kickstart the healthy habit once again, and make new memories. I'll be attending the 530pm class tomorrow with Teacher Mel. Can't wait! Oh I'm sure I'm gonna be rusty, my carousel's gonna be super shaky, but this momma is determined to get back to the barre for good! So, game on!

Mum's musings on a rainy Friday...

Cold and rainy Friday. The kind of weather that makes you want to just stay in bed and zzz. But I have a 6pm radio show. So I reluctantly dragged myself to work today. It's getting harder and harder to leave for work. Not because of the rains making me lazy. But because of Aria. Everyday I bring her to my parents or my in-laws so I can go to the station and do my show. And everyday I wish I didn't have to. She's growing up so fast now, and my fear is that I might not be around when she reaches a certain milestone in her life. I want to be the first one to catch all these milestones. That's why I want to be with her all the time.

Life really changes dramatically once you become a mother. Your priorities change. The things that used to matter so much before I got pregnant seem ridiculously insignificant now. Now, it's all about Aria. The world revolves around my daughter. And the world seems so much happier and brighter now that it does.

At Aria's Baptismal Party. Photo by Litrato Juan.

She just got baptized over the weekend. We had her ears pierced the other day. And based on that last visit to her pediatrician, she now weighs 7 kilograms. That's 15 pounds. 15 pounds! I can only lift 10-pound dumbells in the gym. Aria's size at a week short of 3 months is already for a 6-month old baby. Wow! She got that from her daddy. Tee-hee! :) Her newest milestone is staring at her hands. (And she looks so adorable when she does that!) She is so talkative and her voice is getting louder everyday. I think that one she got from me. Haha!

While she seems so excited to grow up, her mum, on the other hand, is wishing time would slow down, if not stop completely. This afternoon, after a bath and a bottle of milk, she fell asleep lying on my chest. We were just lying in bed, enjoying the rain. I was looking at her face, kissing her tiny nose and smelling her breath. I was wishing that Father Time would take a break. Moments like that are just so beautiful you want to freeze frame it.

I could go on forever sharing stories about my daughter. She's definitely the best-est best thing that's ever happened to me. More posts about Baby Chum soon. When I find the time. When I'm not busy watching my little one grow up. This mum is just head-over-heels in-love!

:)

Love.

I wouldn't want to change the past. Every step we took, every choice we made led to this. Us. Family.

Blessed.

Yes, you!

Get.over.it.

My maternity leave is almost over. It's amazing how I've spent almost two months just staying at home and taking care of my baby. No househelp, no yaya. Just me and Aria everyday. There were days during her first few weeks when she'd be impossible, crying all the time, and with me being a first-time mom I'd end up sobbing in frustration and exhaustion. But as the weeks passed, I learned to understand Aria's needs, when to do this and that. I'd like to think I quite understand her cries now. It's getting a bit easier as she continues to grow. There are still tough days, but I'm learning how to handle them.

Being with Aria 24/7 is sometimes a challenge. But most of the time, it's a pleasure and an honor. My little angel is so beautiful and perfect and precious. I look at her and feel a sense of pride all the time. I'm her mother. She belongs to me. And it's such a big blessing, a huge honor.

My leave is almost up. I'm glad though that I have a job that doesn't take too much of my time. I'll be experiencing what other moms have told me when I was still pregnant with Aria: I'll always be excited to go home and be with the little one.

I still have a week left. And I plan to enjoy every second of it, with my arms wrapped lovingly around my daughter.

Happy Mother's Day!

My very first! Can you believe it? It's amazing how all of a sudden your whole life changes and you're a mother and a living being, your own flesh and blood, is depending on you for its own existence. I am now part of this wonderful and very exclusive world of motherhood. And it's great! Exhausting at times, but it's all worth it.

Tomorrow, May 14, my little Aria celebrates her 1st month. I can't believe it has been a month since I labored for 19hours and painfully gave birth to this beautiful 7.10-pound baby girl. Right now, as I write this, she's in her crib, just near our bed, sleeping soundly. I glance at her from time to time to make sure she's comfortable. And my heart melts everytime I look at her. My own child, my dearest daughter. My greatest blessing.

I know now how it feels. I have yet to learn more about motherhood, I know. But in the past 4 weeks, I have experienced enough to understand well what mothers go through during their baby's first months, all the joys and sacrifices, all the sleepless nights and emotional moments. Motherhood is no bed of roses, but I look at my baby and I know that I can and I will bravely face every challenge. All for Aria. Such a great honor to be her mother.

Happy Mother's Day! Cheers to us moms! We rock!

:)

Baby makes three!

For the past twelve years, it was just me and him. Then we tied the knot, made magic happen, and a song of love was born!

Now it's Dad, Mum and Aria. Family is LOVE! And love is truly all around.

:)

Meet Aria!

April 14, 2012 at 11:59 PM, I gave birth to a beautiful baby girl. Aria Asis-Carilo. Oh, what a big baby she was! 7 lbs and 10 oz. and 50 cm long. I had a difficult normal delivery, but it was all worth it.

More details soon. Right now, let me just share with you the joy and love that our new family is feeling. My husband and I are so blessed. Little Aria is our song of love.

:)

No visitors!

38 weeks and 4 days. I can see the big day happening really soon. Aria's coming out into this beautiful world, and my husband and I can't wait to hold her in our arms and give her real kisses, not just the ones that land on my tummy.

I'll be giving birth at The Medical City. I chose this hospital because (1) my OB is there, (2) it's a very clean hospital and (3) there's Starbucks on the ground floor. I don't have to worry about icky smells or dirty hallways or scary-looking rooms.

Speaking of rooms, Hubby and I will be getting one that's large enough only for me, him, Aria, immediate family and almost no extra space for visitors. I've only invited my closest, closest friends to visit, and that's just five people. A lot of our other friends have been asking if they can visit. If we gave you this reply, "Sige let's see. We'll let you know..." then that means we would appreciate it if you skip the hospital visit and just wait for Aria's welcoming party. I don't mean to sound rude, but I know that after the delivery I will be in my most uncomfortable, ugliest and most delicate state. I won't have the strength to graciously welcome visitors. And since Aria will be roomed-in with us, it wouldn't be a good idea to have a lot of people crowding around.

So there. No visitors, unless invited. And kindly knock before entering. This first-time mom has been excited for the past nine months, but I'm not going crazy about delivery and after-delivery. That's something I choose not to share to the public. I hope you all understand.

Wish me luck!

Helpless.

This is how I'm feeling right now. And I'm hating it!

My OB advised me not to drive anymore. Pregnancy and driving don't really have contraindications, but because I can give birth anytime soon, it would be better (according to her and everyone else in my family) to have someone drive for me, and be with me at all times, just in case I suddenly go into labor or if my water bag ruptures.

So here I am, with no means of going where I wanna go, doing what I wanna do, without bothering someone else. For a woman who's used to being independent all her life, this situation is very frustrating!

Plus the fact that I'm feeling exhausted all the time, what with carrying almost 6pounds of extra weight in my tummy every minute of the day. People are now doing things for me - chores, carrying my stuff, running errands for me. If I were a spoiled brat, I'd be enjoying this. But I'm not. This independent chick is not liking this helplessness one bit.

I shouldn't complain. Life is being really wonderful to me. I just want my strength back. I miss it badly.

DND!

It's Maundy Thursday here in Manila. Holy week. A long weekend, too, since Monday is also a holiday.

And since my hubby doesn't always get this chance to be work-free for a week, we decided to have a staycation at Midas Hotel. I got me a gift certificate, so our stay is for free. Awesome, ain't it? ;)

No work, no stress, no responsibilities. Hakuna matata! And we are loving it!

:)

Dearest Aria...

What an awesome nine months we both had! Now, love, we're nearing the finish line. Mommy and Daddy are going to meet you anytime now. And we are so happy and eager to welcome you to the world!

It's a beautiful world out here, my dear daughter. It can be stressful and chaotic and there are some people that you can never trust, but this place is full of sunshine and glorious rain! You'll be surrounded by family and friends who have loved you even before you were born. You'll be amazed at everything - the sun, the skies, the wind that will blow through your hair, the sound of dogs barking (they're our pets - Princess and Lily Potter), the feel of water when we give you a bath, even the softness of your pillows will make you wonder. Everything will be new and amazing for you out here, and Mommy and Daddy will be watching you every step of the way.

I know it's time to let go now. A part of me is excited to finally see you and hold you in my arms. But there's also a big part of me that wants to hold on to you still. For the past nine months, it has been just you and me. You were a big part of me. I felt you move, kick, swim, even have hiccups! I felt every movement, even the tiny ones that you thought you could hide from me. For the past nine months, you were my constant companion everywhere I went. You were my radio partner, my workout buddy, my silent date in restaurants, my travel companion, the one who listened to my whispers and grumbles and sighs. I sang to you all the time and sometimes you would sway or dance along with the music. Whenever I was feeling anxious or excited or happy or sad, I would touch you and sometimes you would give me a reassuring kick to let me know that I'm not alone. All those moments with you, my darling, were so beautiful and romantic! I look for words to describe exactly how those whole nine months felt, but the words fail to measure up to how wonderful it has been. Wonderful is an understatement. I know Mommy has to let you go now, any day you feel like leaving my tummy to enter the world. I'm going to miss you, little one. I know you understand exactly how Mommy feels. Before you're born, Aria, I want to thank you for spending nine months with me. It has been the best journey of my life so far. Thank you for every beautiful moment. We had so much fun together, right? I will never forget that.

You and I worked hand-in-hand to make Mommy's pregnancy smooth-sailing and terrific! I'd go through another nine months with you if that was possible. What a fantastic adventure we had, love! Are you ready for a new one? I bet you are!

Anytime now, dear Aria. Soon as that little gate opens and you feel like slipping out, Daddy and I will be here to welcome you with all the love and adoration we can ever muster. We're just here waiting for you.

Your name - Aria - means music. And you, my little one, are Daddy and Mommy's song of love. We love you! See you soon.

Love,

Mommy

Aria's Baby Shower!

We celebrated Aria's baby shower yesterday. It was a gift from my Dad and Mom, and my sister Adie took care of the planning and organizing. We were joined by our closest friends, and Aria's future godparents. It was a small get-together, very warm and intimate and fun!

To everyone who spent time with us, thank you so much from the bottom of our hearts! Your presence meant a lot to me and my husband. And to my awesome family - THANK YOU! I have the best parents and siblings in the world. :)

Alvin and I are so happy because our little daughter is being showered with so much love, and she's not even born yet! Everyone's excited to meet her. And so are we!

:)

Fun! :)

Aria's awesome grandparents! I have a strong feeling the little one's gonna be super spoiled. :)

A lot of games and DOUGIE! :)

Thanks for everything, Adie! Love you!

With Aria's ninongs and their families

With my good friends and Aria's fab ninangs, Jada and Mags

With one of my closest friends, Len and her husband Mike. Plus Sloan - winner of that day's Bibo Award :)

Our souvenir cupcakes were gifts from our good friends, Caloy and Angel of Lia's Cakes in Season. Thank you!

Proud and excited parents! :)

Pregnancy is LOVE!

A sample from my preggy shoot.

Photography by Alvin Carilo.
Makeup by Aljheal of Essensuals Toni & Guy.
Models: Mommy + Aria.

:)

Homestretch!

34 weeks, near entering my 35th. It won't be long! I'll soon be introducing you to my beautiful baby Aria.

Hubby and I had our preggy photo shoot this weekend. We checked in at Discovery Suites with his camera and lights - the works! I love, love, love the photos he took of me and I can't wait to post them soon!

In a few weeks, I'll be saying goodbye to pregnancy, and honestly, I'm gonna miss it so! Yes, even the restless nights and the contractions and not fitting into my clothes. Because along with all those came perks like parking at the PWD slots and people being extra nice and courteous. What I'll miss the most is having Aria all to myself, feeling her kicks and wiggles and squirms inside me. Those moments were all so precious!

I'll show you some of my preggy shots as soon as they're ready. And pretty soon, this blog will be filled with photos of a new star - Aria!

:)

Wheee!

She's not even born yet, and she already has so many new things! My little Aria is so very loved!

Thank you, family and friends, for showering her with all the pretty presents! Aria's very happy. I know this because she wiggles and wriggles in my tummy everytime I unwrap gifts!

:)

Move it!

Bed rest. I never thought I'd be hearing my OB say those words. I was advised to go on bed rest for three days after I had some painful contractions. It was a bit of a scare for me. I've just entered my 33rd week and it's still too early for little Aria to come out. So I had to take it easy, rest, take meds and be glued to my bed for 3 days. Fun, you think? Not for someone active like me. Sure, Aria and I got to bond. But even my baby got bored with no movement.

Now my bed rest is over! Wheee! Can't wait to go back to my favorite form of exercise - Barre3! If you were able to catch the article on Inquirer Lifestyle two weeks ago, then you have an idea of what barre3 is about. It's a workout that combines yoga, pilates, ballet and a bit of strength training. I've discovered this a year ago, and I have been hooked ever since. The pic I posted is the Inquirer article. I was chosen as one of the students who best embody Barre3 Philippines. So my photo and a short interview was included in the article. It was an honor!

So today it's time for me to get back on my feet and move it! My OB gave me the go signal to exercise but not on a daily basis, which I don't do anyway. 3x a week of barre3 sessions and/or a few kilometers on the cross trainer - that's my fitness routine. And even if I feel like an elephant, what with this huge watermelon of a tummy I've got, I still feel absolutely fantastic!

Aria's doing A-OK as well. The other day, we had her heartbeat checked and had an ultrasound again. She's happy and healthy in there. Good heartrate, good breathing. She was playing "close-open" with her fists when we saw her during the ultrasound. Then she gave out a big yawn! How cute is that! My husband Alvin and I were ecstatic! Thank You, God, for keeping our little one safe and healthy.

33weeks. Homestretch for me already. OMG, I'm almost there! Can you feel my excitement? I still have a few weeks left to have Aria all to myself so I'm gonna cherish every single moment, every kick and every stretch. And I'll be sharing with her every place and every activity that I love so she'll learn to love it, too. Like exercise!

:)

Dear Aria...

Seems like you've created a circus inside my tummy. There seems to be so much activity going on in there. I know you're developing into a happy baby, because you're always dancing and kicking and doing tiny somersaults.

Your Daddy and I can't wait to see you, little one. We're always excited everytime you move. Do you feel Daddy's hand waiting for your kicks? Yes, that big hand is Daddy's. And sometimes when you feel some soft tapping from outside, that's me trying to wake you up because I want to feel you move.

Other mothers tell me that once I reach the third trimester, I'll start feeling bored and impatient with the pregnancy. Mommy doesn't feel that at all! In fact, my dearest daughter, I'm savoring every minute, every second with you. You can't imagine how happy you make me everytime you swim about my tummy. It's a feeling that I would always want to experience, and while you're still in there, I hold on to every moment. Having you inside my tummy is simply wonderful! It's like having good company all the time. It's true, darling. I feel like I'm never alone because I have you with me day and night (literally) and it's great! I hope you're also enjoying all this time we're spending together.

Your Daddy went to the mall today to look at some nice headphones he can get for you. I know you've been exposed to a lot of music already, what with your Mommy being a radio jock and all. But he wants to buy you headphones so the tunes can reach you clearly. I don't know if you dig classical music. I honestly get bored to death. If you're not not liking it, too, then just give me a kick. I have a lot of happier songs to share with you. You know that quite well because Mommy has been singing to you for the past seven months.

You are loved so much, dear Aria. Mommy and Daddy love you to bits! We can't wait to hold you in our arms. See you soon, little one.

Love,
Mommy

Balentyms! ;)

I've celebrated the day of hearts with the same man for the past eleven years. But that hasn't made the kilig die down at all. Yes, everyday should be Valentine's Day. But we still look forward to this special occasion to hug, kiss and get all cheesy.

 

Happy Valentine's Day to the man who will forever have my heart...my husband! 

P.S. 

Posting this a day earlier, just in case I get too busy tomorrow. ;)

Eating Healthy!

One of my lunch meals: lean meat burger
over a bed of fresh greens

Since my OB is very strict on the "1pound weight gain a week only" rule, I'm now very careful and mindful of my diet. It really isn't difficult, since I do watch what I eat even before I got pregnant. Extra effort lang now since additional weight is also being added to my scale by growing baby Aria. :)

So I'm now trying out a two-week diet program from this online food site - kitchenelle.multiply.com. It's actually phase 1 of the South Beach Diet. Since I need carbs for the baby, too, I just add whole wheat bread or cereal to my meals. The meals are all delicious! And because everything is prepared and ready to eat, it's hassle-free and I don't have to worry much about what to put on my plate.

Check out their healthy menu and diet options! You can pay online thru your credit card, and they deliver the meals to you a day in advance. Go to www.kitchenelle.multiply.com

Meet Aria!

After such a long wait, I finally had my ultrasound today. I wanted to have a Congenital Anomaly Scan done, that's why my OB made me wait a bit longer. The CAS wasn't required. I just asked for one because I wanted to be certain that my baby was developing well inside me. 

And here she is!

Our beautiful baby girl. Aria Asis-Carilo.

Aria Asis-Carilo. Alvin and I were such proud and happy parents as we watched her on the little screen while the doctor showed us every little detail of her body. Alvin was beaming, I was smiling and crying at the same time - just like during the first ultrasound. I can't even begin to describe the feeling of seeing that little ball of life moving and breathing inside you. Ibang klase!

Aria was moving while the CAS was being done. She was moving her arms, opening her mouth, wiggling her feet. And while we watched the movement on screen, I was feeling the motions inside my tummy, too. It was wonderful! No, actually wonderful is an understatement. 

My husband and I are so thankful for this incredible blessing. And knowing that the little one is normal, healthy and doing A-OK inside my tummy is once again another answered prayer. Thank You, Lord! God is good all the time. 

In a week's time, I shall be entering my 7th month. Last trimester! I'm exclaiming a whoop of joy for making it this far so smoothly. Here's hoping that everything will be smooth-sailing until I give birth in April. I think one of the reasons why my pregnancy has been such a terrific journey is because I'm happy. I truly am! I'm enjoying every moment of this new experience. Oh yes, there are times (a lot of times, actually) when I felt like a huge mommy elephant. But I'm always surrounded with so much love and positivity that the bad vibes are always overshadowed. And my husband telling me every single day that I'm beautiful - that works wonders, believe me. 

We'll be seeing Aria again in February for the 4D ultrasound. Can't wait! 

Thank You, God! 

Brekkie!

Save a hundred calories by opting for an open-faced sandwich, says fitness experts. So I make myself one, with cheese and fresh tomatoes, washing it down with a glass of cold Silk soymilk. Healthy mom = healthy baby!

:)

:(

Woke up this morning to news of couples breaking up. Actually, 2012 has started with a lot of break-ups. And it's always a sad, sad thing. I have gone through a terrible split myself in 2008 (which I will always remember as the most tumultuous year of my life) and I know how it feels - the emptiness, the feeling of being lost, the sadness that's like a black hole sucking you into its vastness.

The pain eventually dulls and the wounds heal. And most of us come out of the ordeal a better and stronger person. It just shows how humans are really wired to survive any emotionally catastrophic event in our lives. People will always say, This too shall pass. But of course, a breakup is still...well, heartbreaking.

2012 is supposed to be bringing good luck, they say. I guess if you're going through something terrible right now, you can hold on to the truth that this will turn out to be good for you in the end. God really does know best. Hang in there!

"Sometimes it lasts in love, and sometimes it hurts instead. ~Adele"

Look!

I've reached my 6th month already! Wheee! After two more weeks, my husband and I will finally be finding out if our baby is Adam or Aria. We can hardly wait! And I am such an excited mommy!

:)

Sundays are LOVE!

It's a cold, rainy Sunday here in Manila. Perfect weather for a day of no work, actually. I woke up next to my husband as always, but this time there's something new to look forward to - the little kicks my baby sends out from my tummy almost every morning.

Don't you just love Sundays? Doing nothing, being lazy, without feeling the least bit guilty. And having rainy weather like this is always an added bonus.

As my hubby and I sit in front of the TV with some hot chocolate, I smile thankfully for these simple pleasures. Thank You, God, for always keeping love and laughter in our home. Right here with my husband and our little one in my tummy is exactly where I want to be.

Hope you're having a wonderful Sunday, too!

Unless you have been very, very lucky, you have undoubtedly experienced events in your life that have made you cry. So unless you have been very, very lucky, you know that a good, long session of weeping can often make you feel better, even if your circumstances have not changed one bit. ~Lemony Snicket

Surreal.

There are times when I wake up in the morning next to my husband, I stop and say to myself, "Wow! I'm already married to him."

We've been together for almost twelve years, married for a year and 4months now, and my heart still does cartwheels sometimes when the thought of forever with him suddenly hits me. Sometimes it still feels so surreal. And it will never stop feeling so wonderful.

:)

Happy 2012!

And just like that, it's a brand new year! Time really does just zoom by when you're having fun.

Me at 5 months :)

It's been a terrific ride, the past year. I learned and tried new things, got to travel for free, take lots of beautiful photos, spent time with family and good friends and wonderful people. And the highlight of 2011: my pregnancy. Yes, folks, my husband and I are having a baby! As I write this, I am already entering my 6th month. The experience is so beautiful, I'm telling ya! I am one of the lucky few without morning sickness, complications or even excess weight gain. Well, the controlled weight gain is mainly attributed to my continued exercise regimen and discipline at the dining table. Meaning, hard work. But all in all, my pregnancy is running smoothly. So far, so good. I am very, very thankful.

The baby's already moving actively, too! When my husband and I woke up yesterday, January 1st, he placed his hand on my tummy when I told him that baby was awake, too. And he felt the little one move for the very first time. Alvin was so happy, and beaming like a proud daddy! It was such a beautiful way to start the new year.

My goal last year was to make it a learning year, and the most important thing that I learned is the value of family. This year, I aim to count my blessings more often, to be more positive, to blog more often, to not sweat the small stuff, to spend more precious moments with people who matter and worry only about things that are important, and to become the best mom that I can be.

I lift my heart in a prayer of thanks for the wonderful year that passed. Here's hoping that 2012 will be even more awesome!

Happy new year! :)